Reflections Along the Way

I’m not one of those people that watch EVERY reality TV show out there, but I will take this moment to admit that yes, I do have a few shows that I indulge in on a weekly basis.  Usually its just for fun, and very rarely do I ever find anything of real depth or value on these shows, but this week has been both frustrating and refreshing in the land of reality TV. 

Let me back up and start from the beginning…every so often on these shows, there will be a token “Christian” player.  These characters are usually over the top, staunchly legalistic people that look down there noses at everyone else that doesn’t fit their moral code.  Generally, this person ends up making an embarassment of themselves and of the Christian faith, and I end up wishing they would have kept their faith to themselves, b/c I feel like they end up doing more harm than good for the cause of Christ. 

I watched the season premier of The Amazing Race this past week, and I had to cringe when one of the teams proudly christened themselves as a “Christian couple” that was choosing to keep themselves pure until they were married.  First of all, what makes them think we want to hear about their sex life?!?  The premise of this show is a giant international scavenger hunt!  Not that I’m disagreeing with their choices, but I just don’t think its appropriate for everyone on national TV to be made aware of their sexual choices in the first 3 minutes we meet these people.  How does that have any relevance to the show?  Imagine the other end of the spectrum…”We’re married and have sex 3 times a week with each other.  We are swingers so we also have sex on weekends with other people, and are open to making new alliances and working closely with other teams…”  That sounds ridiculous b/c you would never hear anyone talk so explicitly about those activities, so why would the LACK of such activities be given such air time? 

However, what disappointed me the most was what this team said in response to a question about how their faith in God would help them succeed in the race.  I can think offhand of any number of things they could have said that would have made sense – regarding relationships with their partners, other teammates, peace about how things play out, etc.  But instead, this is what the girl member of the team said – “I think our faith will definitely help us.  Like, we  can pray to God that we will win the race!”  Are you kidding me?  Supposedly your faith is important enough to you to be your “identity” on the race, you have a national audience listening to you talk about your relationship with God, and you talk about something as superficial and shallow as praying to win a million dollars?  Come on.

Then, just when I had given up that there would ever be a positive portrayal of a Christian on reality TV, I watched The Biggest Loser last night.  In case you aren’t familiar with the show, it consists of very obese men and women living together, working on their weight loss journey together and with their trainers.  For many of them, this is a last ditch effort to get healthy.  I like this show b/c it is so much fun to watch the transformation as they change from depressed, unhealthy people to inspirational, happy, healthy men and women!  Anyway, each week the two teams that had the lowest percentage of weight loss are on the chopping block, and the other teams have to decide by a vote which team will go home, and therefore have to try to lose the rest of their weight at home, without the support of their teammates/trainers and also the isolation and focus that living on the “ranch” provides.  To recap, on last nights show, one player had made some questionable decisions that affected the other teams, and the two teams that were up for elimination were two teams that no one wanted to have to choose between.  Right before its time to vote, each team was given a chance to plead their case – to tell why they deserve to be there more than the other team. 

Up for elimination were the Yellow team – a man and a woman who were the two biggest players that the game had ever had, and the Red team – two guys, one of whom had mentioned a couple of times that he was a pastor.  The woman in particular on the Yellow team had a really touching story – she never knew her dad, her mom had died of a drug overdose, and she basically had no support system to go home to if she got voted off.  She was also well over 400 pounds, and obviously had the most weight of anyone to lose.  When it came time for the Red team to have their “speech”, the pastor did the talking.  He began by saying how much he and his partner had learned over the past few weeks, and how grateful they were to know that they had family and friends at home they could lean on.  He said they didn’t want to go home, but between the two teams, he felt like they were the ones that could be most successful on their own.  He basically told the other teams to vote his team off instead of the Yellow team – his partner didn’t speak up, but was obviously in agreement as well. 

At first I thought – what are you doing?!?  He’s dreamed for so long of having this opportunity to make the lifestyle changes he needs to to keep his family healthy and be a good example for his kids!  It seemed crazy that he would sacrifice so much for someone he had only known for a couple of weeks! 

But then it hit me – this man realizes that their is something bigger going on here than a weight loss game show.  These are real people with real problems and he has a chance to be a reflection of Christ to these people.  We have been talking in church recently about how the proof of love is sacrifice.   I don’t know anything about the beliefs of the other man on his team, but I can say that those two just showed the whole world what it looks like to put your money where your mouth is and really love your neighbor.  This pastor was not worried about who was having sex or not.  He wasn’t using his connection with God to pray for victory over other teams.  He’s not using his time on the show as a platform to preach about hellfire and brimstone, or about ethics and moral law.  He’s just representing God in the clearest way he can – not with empty words, but with self-sacrificial love.  That’s what I call leading by example.

I don’t intend to come across as judgmental.  A reality TV show is a vulnerable and humbling place to be I am sure.  A camera is there at the ready to show you at your worst possible moments to the whole country.   More than likely I will never be on these reality shows, or any other for that matter.  (At one point I tried out for one of these shows.  Hopefully it is obvious which one I tried out for, although that may become slightly less clear in the coming months…  )  I probably won’t have to worry about the whole world noticing all my flaws and shortcomings, and catching me in the midst of my many hypocritical moments (which is good…).    But that doesn’t mean that those around me aren’t watching me.  Seeing this show last night really convicted me of how casual I treat this responsibility sometimes.  In my own “local” world, I need to make sure that I am accurately representing Christ to others – not just in what I say, but in my every action and deed.

Exposure is a commonly used term in rock climbing.  I found an online dictionary that defined it as “being in a situation in which you are very aware that you are high off the ground.”  In other words, standing on a large summit that is capped by lots of soil and very tall, thick trees would not be considered as exposed as a summit consisting of a 3 foot wide pinnacle several hundred feet off the deck.  A steep route traversing across a narrow ridge would be more exposed than a route that meanders up a low-angle slab. 

Steve demonstrating the exposure that Seneca is famous for...

Exposure typically intensifies a route.  I have a few climber friends that are afraid of heights (ironic, huh?) and they usually tend to avoid routes that involve a high amount of exposure.  In May of 2009, Steve and I went to Seneca Rocks, West Virginia, an area well-renowned for the levels of exposure, even on the easiest of routes, and I feel like I learned a valuable lesson about perspective. 

On the second day of our trip, we did a route called “Gunsight to South Peak Direct.”  The route goes at 5.4/5.5, which means that as far as climbing routes go, this one was pretty easy.  However, this route has been referred to in some circles as “the scariest 5.4 on the planet.”  Now, even to beginner climbers, the terms “scary” and “5.4″ should not be used in the same sentence.  I think it is safe to say that if you can successfully climb a ladder, you should be more than capable to complete the moves on a 5.4 without any sort of difficulty.  This route is also given a “G” rating (as opposed to PG-13, R, X), which means that there are plenty of opportunities for the lead climber to place stoppers and camming units into cracks and other features of the rock along the way to keep everyone safe. 

Getting started on Gunsight to South Peak (Direct Variation)

So the moves are not complex, no technique required really, and any experienced climber should have no problem with placing the gear – so what makes this route so scary?  EXPOSURE.  It climbs up a very narrow arete to a summit ridge that is only a few feet wide in places.  On either side of you is about 900 feet of air.  Even though nothing about the route is difficult physically, you’ve got to flex some mental muscles to keep yourself focused.  While I was on the route, I remember thinking that had the physical piece been as intense as the mental aspect, I would have been scared out of my mind! 

For the past couple of weeks I have been reflecting on those experiences with exposure, and contemplating just why high exposure situations can be such sobering experiences.  Hopefully every climber knows that their sport is one in which certain mistakes are not allowed.  If I fail to clip into my anchor or tie my knot correctly, a fall could very likely result in serious injury or death.  When I am hanging out at a nice restful stance, feeling secure on low-angle rock that is shielded from the sun and wind by trees, the consequences are the same as being on top of the tiny pinnacle.  I know this, and every safe climber will always bear in mind the seriousness of their actions.  However, the giant ledge somehow FEELS safer.  Even though I can look into the horizon and can tell that I am up quite high, when I look straight down at my feet, I still see dirt.  During my weekend at Seneca, more times than not when I looked down to find my next foothold, I saw nothing but air – the exposure brings everything to a new level of awareness – it’s an in your face, stomach-dropping, can’t get it out of my head kind of awareness. 

I think this is how life is sometimes.  Its easy to get stuck in a rut, going thru the motions on some low-angle slab – feeling safe and secure in the routines of life.  Its much more comfortable living there than being vulnerable on the steep, overhanging, “risky” walls.  But, in reality, is the slab really that much safer?  Are the exposed, steep parts of our lives really that much riskier?  How often have you been living in a ho-hum, “safe” mindset one day only to have your world turned upside down the next – a lost job, the death of a loved one, a life-changing injury, etc.  This life is a risky undertaking and there is a lot going on under the surface.  I’m not saying that we should live in fear of what lies around the next corner – that’s no sort of life at all!  I’m just noting that living in ignorance by thinking you are immune from any type of hardship will actually leave you with a false sense of control.  Thinking you are “safe” from the storms of life will actually make you less prepared to deal with what life throws your way. 

Steve securely swimming in a sea of slab on Deidre (5.8) in Squamish, British Columbia

At church a couple of weeks ago our pastor was talking about such storms, and how we shouldn’t necessarily avoid them at all costs, because they can be an opportunity to grow.   He said that God leads us into storms for a reason.  Even though I don’t always understand the reason, I get that I’m obviously not God, and therefore might not be privy to the Master Plan.  But the part that struck me odd was the part about God “leading us into storms.” 

At first I thought that seemed a little mean – I mean really, shouldn’t a loving God keep us from the storm rather than plunge us headfirst into it?  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is actually quite a comforting picture of God’s love for us.  If someone is leading, literally or figuratively, it means that they are going first.  God is going thru the storm ahead of us, arranging safe passage for us to make it out on the other side.  To me, this is a much more personal idea than the common notion that God is watching from a distance, “allowing” storms to happen in our lives for some cosmic reason unbeknownst to me.

The bottom line is that storms will happen in our lives at one time or another.  We could avoid the exposure and take the route that “seems” safer – live life in a bubble, only associating with those who look and think like we do, content wearing glasses of ignorance at what is going on in the world around us, and never let anyone see our weaknesses.  Or, we could choose to embrace the exposure - get out of our comfort zones, try something different and new, and perhaps show a little bit of vulnerability and humility.

Enjoying the view from the exposed South Peak Summit at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia

As the saying goes, “Its a great big world out there.”  Living life on the steep side, being exposed and vulnerable to others, isn’t any more dangerous than hanging out on low-angled rock where it feels like there are no risks.  Don’t be afraid of the exposure – live your life with your eyes wide open and embrace the rawness of living. 

In the few years that I’ve been climbing, I’ve had the opportunity to climb in lots of different places, but I’d never made it up to the Red River Gorge until this past weekend.  Steve and I had tried to go several times, but due to weather, schedules, injuries, etc., it seems as though the stars were never quite in proper alignment to make it happen.  But when several friends invited us to go, and especially after being able to finagle an extra day off of work on Friday, spending Labor Day weekend in Kentucky at the Red seemed to be the only obvious choice. 

Our campsite at Lago Linda's

 I had mixed feelings leading up to the trip, for a few reasons.  First of all, I’m 11 weeks pregnant, so this obviously means some big changes will be taking place.  Between my husband and me, I’ve always been the ropegun.  Over the past year or so, Steve has improved dramatically and really stepped up his sharp end game, but this was our first trip where leading was out for me, and all the pressure was on Steve.  Thankfully, we went with a big group of people, so not ALL the pressure was on Steve, and he didn’t have to lead every single route we wanted to do.

Now, for all you non-climbers out there reading this, before you freak out about the pregnant lady climbing, please take note at the temporary changes I have made to keep things safe for me and my growing baby.   After speaking with my doctor and doing my own research about it, it seems that the main thing to avoid at this stage is any sort of abdominal trauma, which is why a few weeks after we found out I was pregnant, I decided to stop leading, and only toprope for the duration of the pregnancy.  To understand the differences between the two, and see some comparison pictures, you can check out a previous blog post that touches on those differences.  An article I found very helpful in my research can be found here.  

I started the weekend off right by heading to my first prenatal massage appointment with Tracey Obeda, ate a quick lunch, and then Steve and I hit the road around 1 or so.  We usually like to stop at a rest area in the mountains and have a picnic dinner on the way up, but we soon realized that we would be on tiny country roads for the last half of the trip, miles upon miles from a nice scenic picnic table, so we had to settle for the Wendy’s in Grundy, VA (doesn’t that sound appetizing!)

We arrived at our campsite around 9:00, and promptly set up our tent and went to bed.  Interestingly enough, as we got closer to our destination on the map, we had our eyes peeled for the, well, GORGE part of the Red River Gorge.  Every other gorge we have been to has very distinctive cliffs, and at the bottom, has an equally distinctive, usually quite large and fast flowing, RIVER.  Evidently that is not the case here, which we found rather comical.  At one point we went over a bridge that was labeled “Red River”, but it looked more like a small muddy stream.  The only river we saw was flowing off the tops of the cliffs after the rains came on Sunday!  But regardless of the geographical idiosyncrasies, there was obviously enough cliff to go around!

Luke on Unknown 2, 5.11b, with Steve belaying

 Our first day was spent in the Pendergrass Preserve at the Volunteer Wall.  The weather was beautiful, the crag was surprisingly not that crowded, and we had a wonderful time!  I don’t always like cragging with lots of people sharing ropes, because I usually feel like I end up doing more sitting around than climbing, but considering that these days my endurance is shot and I’m out of breath from the minute the backpack is strapped on, it was probably a sneaky way for God to make sure I didn’t overdo it this weekend (plus I still got in 8 routes, so the day was anything but lazy…)

Christine working her way up Family Tradition (5.10b)while Huck belays

 DAY 1 ROUTES ~
Swap Meet – 5.6
First Time – 5.8+
Nice to Know You – 5.10b
Helping Hands – 5.10d (Steve’s hardest lead to date!)
Darwin Love You – 5.9+
Unknown 2 – 5.11b (first time all day I wasn’t clean, had an absolute flail at the start, and had to hang several times throughout)
Normalized Bramapithecus – 5.10d (surprised myself by pulling the low roof start with no problems whatsoever, hung a couple times to catch my breath up towards the top)

  Day 1 ended with dinner back at camp – chicken and pesto pasta and ranch flavored rice cakes (weird, yes, but at least I kept my newly found pregnant pickle fetish back home in NC!)

Fixing breakfast and packing lunch for the day

 Our second day we got up early and headed to Roadside Crag. So on Friday when we left around lunch time, our last weather check had not a cloud in the forecast until the early part of the next week, but lo and behold, the rain started around 11 on Day 2.  It was tempting to feel sorry for ourselves and be pissed that we had driven 8 hours only to spend it getting wet, but the ironic thing was that it didn’t seem to affect our climbing at all.  The Red is so steep, that there are any number of areas that you can climb at and stay completely dry, so it was hard to complain! 

Kathy on Troubled Clef (5.9-), while Huck gets ready to start on Kampsight (5.9+) Scott and I belaying...this is before the rain struck!

DAY 2 ROUTES ~
Ledger Line – 5.7
Trouble Clef – 5.9-
You Can Tune a Piano, but You Can’t Tuna Fish – 5.10b
Altered Scale – 5.9+
Up Yonder – 5.11b (I took two laps on this – on the first one I hung at almost every bolt right before I unclipped, so I could figure out all the moves without taking huge swings that made me have to start over.  The second time around I felt much smoother on it, and was clean up until the crux, and then rested 1 or 2 more times on the rope after that)

Me on Up Yonder (5.11b) My favorite climb of the whole weekend!

 Day 2 dinner was at the world famous (to climbers anyway) Miguel’s Pizza – thankfully a large group was leaving right as we were walking in, so we were able to snag a nice dry table under the awning!  We definitely had a varied assortment of pizzas between the dozen of us – with toppings everywhere from pasta spirals, avocado, goat cheese, bacon, corn, salsa, and of course the classic pepperoni and mushrooms.

Everybody at Miguel's!

 Considering the 8 hour drive and my recent ability to not be able to stay awake much past 9, for Day 3, we decided we would only climb until noon, and then hike out and hit the road.  The weather forecast was looking pretty ominous, so we decided to climb at the Johnny’s/Tectonic Walls in Muir Valley for the morning.  We lucked up and got a golf cart ride for most of the approach from Liz Weber, the very sweet lady that owns Muir Valley, the one makes it all possible for folks to continue climbing there.  Sure enough, the walls were dry, and stayed dry even when the skies opened up around 9:30.  The only unpleasant part of the day was the 30 minute (uphill) hike back out in the torrential downpour – but thankfully we had full on rain gear, so the drive back was warm and dry 

Steve on Gettin' Lucky in Kentucky (5.10b)

 DAY 3 ROUTES ~
Plate Tectonics – 5.9+
Gettin’ Lucky in Kentucky – 5.10b
5^th Bolt Faith – 5.10c
Bethel – 5.10a
All of these routes were similar in style, and really fun – big bouldery moves to giant plates and flakes, steep, pumpy finishes.  I was psyched to get everything clean, considering that my forearms definitely felt the day 3 pump from the minute I touched the rock!

 All in all, I think good times were had by all.  It was quite a different trip for me, compared to what I’m used to, and I think I learned a few things about myself along the way.  I realized how much pride I took in being an independent climber before I got pregnant.  I took for granted how I could flip through the guidebook, pick out the routes I wanted to warm-up on, have fun on, and then maybe a project or two, and then go out and get them done.  This weekend it was hard having to wait for other people to hang ropes up before I could climb.  I also realized that pre-pregnancy, I had an underlying attitude that if I wasn’t on the sharp end, that a route didn’t “count,” unless it was something that was so hard it was out of my range to lead.  I didn’t proclaim this judgment on other people (or else, as my husband was quick to point out, that would mean that he didn’t actually “start” climbing til a year or so ago) – it was just a standard that I held myself to.  But now that I can’t lead until sometime during the spring of 2010, I obviously have to change my standards (and I’m already dreading how timid my head will be when I tie in to the sharp end for the first time again…)  But I realized this past weekend that I really like climbing whether I’m leading or not.  And I also really like hanging out with other climbers – like I said before, I made several new friends on this trip, and I truly enjoyed their company.  No one else cared who was leading, who was onsighting, who was hanging, etc. – everyone was just out there hanging ropes and having fun together – so perhaps before I was caring about that stuff a little more than I should have been.  Bottom line is this – I got to spend a whole weekend away from the stresses of everyday life to hang out in a marvelous Creation – all while my body is busy making a marvelous creation of its own!

Thanks to everyone who made the weekend great!  We were passing cameras around so much that I have no idea who took what pictures, so I’ll just list everyone for photo credits…
Scott Millbern and Christine Neuper (I don’t think Finn took any pics…)
Zach Millbern and Flannery Lynch
Jean Adams
Kathy Logan
Luke and Lauren Howard
Mark “Huck” Huckabee
Steve and Erica Lineberry

So…its been a couple of weeks since my last blog post, but I have several good excuses!!!  One of which is that I have been officially “hired” as a blogger for Climbing Magazine’s website!  (I put “hired” in quotes, b/c its not really a paid position… )  Anyway, its probably going to be mostly about… you guessed it, climbing stuff.  Trip reports, musings, and the like – similar to the stuff that I post on here, but probably with more photos and technical jargon.    You can get to the reader blog pages by clicking here .  There’s a little “About Me” section, and then my first blog post is clickable from there, which is a trip report from our trip to Utah in June, but instead of pictures, I decided to post up some clips from the video that Steve and I made of the trip.  Feel free to let me know what you think – friendly criticism is welcome   Anyways, thats all for now, but just wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to in the cybersphere these days!