Reflections Along the Way

I’m not one of those people that watch EVERY reality TV show out there, but I will take this moment to admit that yes, I do have a few shows that I indulge in on a weekly basis.  Usually its just for fun, and very rarely do I ever find anything of real depth or value on these shows, but this week has been both frustrating and refreshing in the land of reality TV. 

Let me back up and start from the beginning…every so often on these shows, there will be a token “Christian” player.  These characters are usually over the top, staunchly legalistic people that look down there noses at everyone else that doesn’t fit their moral code.  Generally, this person ends up making an embarassment of themselves and of the Christian faith, and I end up wishing they would have kept their faith to themselves, b/c I feel like they end up doing more harm than good for the cause of Christ. 

I watched the season premier of The Amazing Race this past week, and I had to cringe when one of the teams proudly christened themselves as a “Christian couple” that was choosing to keep themselves pure until they were married.  First of all, what makes them think we want to hear about their sex life?!?  The premise of this show is a giant international scavenger hunt!  Not that I’m disagreeing with their choices, but I just don’t think its appropriate for everyone on national TV to be made aware of their sexual choices in the first 3 minutes we meet these people.  How does that have any relevance to the show?  Imagine the other end of the spectrum…”We’re married and have sex 3 times a week with each other.  We are swingers so we also have sex on weekends with other people, and are open to making new alliances and working closely with other teams…”  That sounds ridiculous b/c you would never hear anyone talk so explicitly about those activities, so why would the LACK of such activities be given such air time? 

However, what disappointed me the most was what this team said in response to a question about how their faith in God would help them succeed in the race.  I can think offhand of any number of things they could have said that would have made sense – regarding relationships with their partners, other teammates, peace about how things play out, etc.  But instead, this is what the girl member of the team said – “I think our faith will definitely help us.  Like, we  can pray to God that we will win the race!”  Are you kidding me?  Supposedly your faith is important enough to you to be your “identity” on the race, you have a national audience listening to you talk about your relationship with God, and you talk about something as superficial and shallow as praying to win a million dollars?  Come on.

Then, just when I had given up that there would ever be a positive portrayal of a Christian on reality TV, I watched The Biggest Loser last night.  In case you aren’t familiar with the show, it consists of very obese men and women living together, working on their weight loss journey together and with their trainers.  For many of them, this is a last ditch effort to get healthy.  I like this show b/c it is so much fun to watch the transformation as they change from depressed, unhealthy people to inspirational, happy, healthy men and women!  Anyway, each week the two teams that had the lowest percentage of weight loss are on the chopping block, and the other teams have to decide by a vote which team will go home, and therefore have to try to lose the rest of their weight at home, without the support of their teammates/trainers and also the isolation and focus that living on the “ranch” provides.  To recap, on last nights show, one player had made some questionable decisions that affected the other teams, and the two teams that were up for elimination were two teams that no one wanted to have to choose between.  Right before its time to vote, each team was given a chance to plead their case – to tell why they deserve to be there more than the other team. 

Up for elimination were the Yellow team – a man and a woman who were the two biggest players that the game had ever had, and the Red team – two guys, one of whom had mentioned a couple of times that he was a pastor.  The woman in particular on the Yellow team had a really touching story – she never knew her dad, her mom had died of a drug overdose, and she basically had no support system to go home to if she got voted off.  She was also well over 400 pounds, and obviously had the most weight of anyone to lose.  When it came time for the Red team to have their “speech”, the pastor did the talking.  He began by saying how much he and his partner had learned over the past few weeks, and how grateful they were to know that they had family and friends at home they could lean on.  He said they didn’t want to go home, but between the two teams, he felt like they were the ones that could be most successful on their own.  He basically told the other teams to vote his team off instead of the Yellow team – his partner didn’t speak up, but was obviously in agreement as well. 

At first I thought – what are you doing?!?  He’s dreamed for so long of having this opportunity to make the lifestyle changes he needs to to keep his family healthy and be a good example for his kids!  It seemed crazy that he would sacrifice so much for someone he had only known for a couple of weeks! 

But then it hit me – this man realizes that their is something bigger going on here than a weight loss game show.  These are real people with real problems and he has a chance to be a reflection of Christ to these people.  We have been talking in church recently about how the proof of love is sacrifice.   I don’t know anything about the beliefs of the other man on his team, but I can say that those two just showed the whole world what it looks like to put your money where your mouth is and really love your neighbor.  This pastor was not worried about who was having sex or not.  He wasn’t using his connection with God to pray for victory over other teams.  He’s not using his time on the show as a platform to preach about hellfire and brimstone, or about ethics and moral law.  He’s just representing God in the clearest way he can – not with empty words, but with self-sacrificial love.  That’s what I call leading by example.

I don’t intend to come across as judgmental.  A reality TV show is a vulnerable and humbling place to be I am sure.  A camera is there at the ready to show you at your worst possible moments to the whole country.   More than likely I will never be on these reality shows, or any other for that matter.  (At one point I tried out for one of these shows.  Hopefully it is obvious which one I tried out for, although that may become slightly less clear in the coming months…  )  I probably won’t have to worry about the whole world noticing all my flaws and shortcomings, and catching me in the midst of my many hypocritical moments (which is good…).    But that doesn’t mean that those around me aren’t watching me.  Seeing this show last night really convicted me of how casual I treat this responsibility sometimes.  In my own “local” world, I need to make sure that I am accurately representing Christ to others – not just in what I say, but in my every action and deed.

Exposure is a commonly used term in rock climbing.  I found an online dictionary that defined it as “being in a situation in which you are very aware that you are high off the ground.”  In other words, standing on a large summit that is capped by lots of soil and very tall, thick trees would not be considered as exposed as a summit consisting of a 3 foot wide pinnacle several hundred feet off the deck.  A steep route traversing across a narrow ridge would be more exposed than a route that meanders up a low-angle slab. 

Steve demonstrating the exposure that Seneca is famous for...

Exposure typically intensifies a route.  I have a few climber friends that are afraid of heights (ironic, huh?) and they usually tend to avoid routes that involve a high amount of exposure.  In May of 2009, Steve and I went to Seneca Rocks, West Virginia, an area well-renowned for the levels of exposure, even on the easiest of routes, and I feel like I learned a valuable lesson about perspective. 

On the second day of our trip, we did a route called “Gunsight to South Peak Direct.”  The route goes at 5.4/5.5, which means that as far as climbing routes go, this one was pretty easy.  However, this route has been referred to in some circles as “the scariest 5.4 on the planet.”  Now, even to beginner climbers, the terms “scary” and “5.4″ should not be used in the same sentence.  I think it is safe to say that if you can successfully climb a ladder, you should be more than capable to complete the moves on a 5.4 without any sort of difficulty.  This route is also given a “G” rating (as opposed to PG-13, R, X), which means that there are plenty of opportunities for the lead climber to place stoppers and camming units into cracks and other features of the rock along the way to keep everyone safe. 

Getting started on Gunsight to South Peak (Direct Variation)

So the moves are not complex, no technique required really, and any experienced climber should have no problem with placing the gear – so what makes this route so scary?  EXPOSURE.  It climbs up a very narrow arete to a summit ridge that is only a few feet wide in places.  On either side of you is about 900 feet of air.  Even though nothing about the route is difficult physically, you’ve got to flex some mental muscles to keep yourself focused.  While I was on the route, I remember thinking that had the physical piece been as intense as the mental aspect, I would have been scared out of my mind! 

For the past couple of weeks I have been reflecting on those experiences with exposure, and contemplating just why high exposure situations can be such sobering experiences.  Hopefully every climber knows that their sport is one in which certain mistakes are not allowed.  If I fail to clip into my anchor or tie my knot correctly, a fall could very likely result in serious injury or death.  When I am hanging out at a nice restful stance, feeling secure on low-angle rock that is shielded from the sun and wind by trees, the consequences are the same as being on top of the tiny pinnacle.  I know this, and every safe climber will always bear in mind the seriousness of their actions.  However, the giant ledge somehow FEELS safer.  Even though I can look into the horizon and can tell that I am up quite high, when I look straight down at my feet, I still see dirt.  During my weekend at Seneca, more times than not when I looked down to find my next foothold, I saw nothing but air – the exposure brings everything to a new level of awareness – it’s an in your face, stomach-dropping, can’t get it out of my head kind of awareness. 

I think this is how life is sometimes.  Its easy to get stuck in a rut, going thru the motions on some low-angle slab – feeling safe and secure in the routines of life.  Its much more comfortable living there than being vulnerable on the steep, overhanging, “risky” walls.  But, in reality, is the slab really that much safer?  Are the exposed, steep parts of our lives really that much riskier?  How often have you been living in a ho-hum, “safe” mindset one day only to have your world turned upside down the next – a lost job, the death of a loved one, a life-changing injury, etc.  This life is a risky undertaking and there is a lot going on under the surface.  I’m not saying that we should live in fear of what lies around the next corner – that’s no sort of life at all!  I’m just noting that living in ignorance by thinking you are immune from any type of hardship will actually leave you with a false sense of control.  Thinking you are “safe” from the storms of life will actually make you less prepared to deal with what life throws your way. 

Steve securely swimming in a sea of slab on Deidre (5.8) in Squamish, British Columbia

At church a couple of weeks ago our pastor was talking about such storms, and how we shouldn’t necessarily avoid them at all costs, because they can be an opportunity to grow.   He said that God leads us into storms for a reason.  Even though I don’t always understand the reason, I get that I’m obviously not God, and therefore might not be privy to the Master Plan.  But the part that struck me odd was the part about God “leading us into storms.” 

At first I thought that seemed a little mean – I mean really, shouldn’t a loving God keep us from the storm rather than plunge us headfirst into it?  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is actually quite a comforting picture of God’s love for us.  If someone is leading, literally or figuratively, it means that they are going first.  God is going thru the storm ahead of us, arranging safe passage for us to make it out on the other side.  To me, this is a much more personal idea than the common notion that God is watching from a distance, “allowing” storms to happen in our lives for some cosmic reason unbeknownst to me.

The bottom line is that storms will happen in our lives at one time or another.  We could avoid the exposure and take the route that “seems” safer – live life in a bubble, only associating with those who look and think like we do, content wearing glasses of ignorance at what is going on in the world around us, and never let anyone see our weaknesses.  Or, we could choose to embrace the exposure - get out of our comfort zones, try something different and new, and perhaps show a little bit of vulnerability and humility.

Enjoying the view from the exposed South Peak Summit at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia

As the saying goes, “Its a great big world out there.”  Living life on the steep side, being exposed and vulnerable to others, isn’t any more dangerous than hanging out on low-angled rock where it feels like there are no risks.  Don’t be afraid of the exposure – live your life with your eyes wide open and embrace the rawness of living. 

So in my last post, I mentioned that we made some new friends at Pies n Pints during our visit to the New last weekend.  We overheard the couple at the table next to ours talking about their day at the Bridge Buttress, another New River Gorge climbing area, so we decided to see what routes they had gotten on.  We ended up talking to them the rest of the time while we ate – Josh and Erin were their names, and they were from Johnson City, TN.  We compared notes on our activities from the day, discussed our plans for the next day, and chatted about the cliffs in NC and TN that we each frequented.  It turned out that we were staying at the same campground, only a couple of sites away from each other.  We even scored an invite to toast some marshmallows at their campfire later on that night! 

Hanging out with new friends at the '09 Rendezvous

I think that this perfectly illustrates one of my favorite aspects of climbing – the social scene!  When you are avid participators in a sport that not many people do (or even know about for that matter), there is a strong sense of community with others that share your passion.  Its no stretch at all to find meaningful conversation from a 4 hr stint in a car to and from the crag week after week with the same people over and over again.  On the way there we tell tales of previous adventures with the people we are with, or from the place we are headed to.  On the way back we recount the new stories from our latest day of cragging, sometimes embellishing a bit for posterity…

Now, don’t get me wrong - no matter where you go on the planet, you are going to find snobby and pretentious people, and the climbing world is by no means excluded from this.  However, by and large I have found folks from the climbing community to be some of the most generous, sincere, and friendly people I have ever come across. 

In line for Dessertapalooza at the '08 Rendezvous

Several years ago when I first started climbing, I was really intimidated by the stronger climbers in our community.  I felt that since I was a “newbie” that I shouldn’t expect to be able to associate with the ones who could really crank hard.  I figured we didn’t have anything in common, and that me recounting my fears of my first 5.4 sport lead would just sound silly to anyone that could onsight 5.12. 

Watching the "Dyno Comp" from Rendezvous '08

And then I went my first “New River Rendezvous” in 2007, a weekend long climber’s festival where climbers from all over the country come with a mindset to climb lots of routes, eat lots of food, meet new people to climb with, and raise money for the New River Alliance of Climbers (NRAC).  I didn’t meet a single person there that I didn’t like. (and there were close to 1200 people there…)  A lot of them were much more experienced climbers than me, but there were also a lot of beginners there as well.  And none of that really mattered, b/c we had the most important thing in common – our love for the rock.  Some of us were boulderers, some of us liked to clip bolts at the local sport crag, and others liked to place their own gear on long traditional routes.  But the neat part was that it didn’t matter, b/c no matter what type of climbing we were doing, no matter what difficulty level we were climbing at, we had one thing in common – we loved getting vertical on the rock!

Steve in the highly anticipated "Sumo-Crash-Pad Wrestling Competition" at our very first Rendezvous in '07

I have been fortunate over the years to be able to meet several climbers that have been blessed with the opportunity to more or less make a career out of the sport they love (some by winning competitions, but most by being sponsored by climbing equipment companies) and almost everyone has been down-to-earth and genuine – some I didn’t even realize how “famous” they were until after our conversation.  The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter where you are on the totem pole of climbing – as long as your in the game at least, you share a bond that the average member of society will never understand – and that, I have learned, is pretty special. 

Getting some crack climbing tips from "Trango" owner Malcolm Daly

I think that this same attitude should be reflected in the churches of today, but sadly, so often it is not.  Just like there is such a wide variety of types of climbers, there is an infinite variety of Christ followers.  However, the differences shouldn’t cause contention.  Just like the V10 boulderer can relate to the 5.5 multipitch trad climber b/c he loves the rock, the non-denominational inner city kid should be able to relate to the middle-aged front row Baptist because she loves Christ. 

Hound Ears '08 - another fun party weekend for the climbing community

Even though everything about us and our styles may be different, the one thing we have in common is really the only thing that matters anyway.  It doesn’t mean there won’t ever be differences, and where there are differences there is invariably conflict, but if we all started looking at what we have in common rather than what we don’t, the church would be based on unity rather than denominational discrepancies, and I daresay the world would be a much happier place. 

Enjoying the spiritual similarities we have with our "Community Group" from Vintage21

Packing Toiletry Kits for Urban Ministries of Durham

It has been a sad week in the world of climbing.  The climbing community suffered a loss of a legend this past weekend.  On Sunday, July 5^th, John Bachar fell to his death while free soloing in Mammoth, California.  If you don’t know who he is, you can click on the link to find a quick bio, but this guy was one of the greatest climbers of all time, some might argue THE greatest.  This tragic event combined with my injury a couple of weeks ago in Utah brings to the forefront an issue that most climbers don’t like to think about, but should always have in the back of their mind every time they touch the rock – the concept of acceptable levels of risk.  This is a concept that I journaled about last summer, and although maybe not all of it applies, it seemed appropriate to post now, considering the recent turn of events.

For those of you who are not aware, free soloing is where you climb without a rope, and without using any gear.  Its just you and the rock.  When I first got into climbing I thought that the only people who would do something like that were crazy and had a subconscious death wish.  However, after becoming more involved in the community and developing friendships with climbers in my area, I was surprised to learn that several people that I knew from the climbing community (who seemed very level-headed and sane) sometimes engaged in this type of climbing.  Upon hearing their reasons for why they do it (its meditative, they can get into a “flow” of movement without having to stop and worry about gear, most only do it on levels well below their physical limit, so they feel fairly safe) I realized that these people are not crazy, but actually present legitimate arguments for such an undertaking.

Toproping Warpin Endorphine Crack, 5.11b, The Dump, NC

However, I still do not free solo, nor will I.  This is b/c any amount of free-soloing exceeds my acceptable risk level.  For the non-climbers out there that aren’t familiar with this jargon, here’s a very basic rundown on different types of climbing and the typical risks involved.  A fall on a toprope with a solid anchor (usually no more than a few feet, as the anchor is always above you) is relatively benign.  Not too much can go wrong here.  A fall while you are leading (bringing the rope to the top of the route from the base of the cliff, clipping into protection along the way) a sport (bolted) route could get you scratched and banged up pretty badly (ahem, like my knee…), but the chances of becoming seriously injured are relatively low.  On a traditional (trad) lead (placing your own gear instead of bolts), the consequences of a fall are similar to a sport route provided your gear is correctly placed in good quality rock that won’t break when force is exerted on it.  If there are not many places for gear (called a run-out), or your gear/rock is bad, then the chances of injury with a fall are significantly increased.  A fall on a free solo attempt will most likely result in death, or life changing injuries at the very least.

Leading a bolted sport route - Unknown, 5.10-, Maple Canyon, Utah

The sport of rock climbing has come a long way over the years, and with the advances in modern equipment, along with proper knowledge of that equipment’s uses and limitations, rock climbing can be a very safe endeavor.  However, like any activity, it is not without risk.  The job each climber has, whether it be conscious or subconsciously, is to make an assessment of what level of risk they are comfortable with.  Armed with the facts and realization of consequences, he or she must determine where their acceptable risk level lies, and act accordingly.

Leading a climb using traditional gear - Klahanie Crack, 5.7, Squamish, British Columbia

I will use myself as an example.  Toprope falls don’t bother me a bit.  I won’t think twice about roping up on something ridiculously hard that I am fully expecting to flail on several times, possibly unable to even complete.  The next category is sport leading, and b/c the risks are different, my attitude towards this category is more cautious.  I will sport lead close to my physical limit, but unless the bolts are really close together, I am less likely to get on something that I’m not sure I can physically do, or can’t figure out possible sequences from the bottom.  I look at the style of the route (overhanging but powerful lunges to big holds, vertical but with small holds and balancey moves, etc) and choose to push myself more when the climb suits my strengths.  I am even more cautious when it comes to leading routes on traditional gear.  I lead at a MUCH lower level than what I am physically capable of.  This is my choice for two reasons.  One, I feel secure in knowing that the route is at a level that I probably won’t fall at, unless something freak happens, such as a hold breaking, etc.  Two, I don’t want to have to worry about placing gear when my body is in awkward, physically demanding positions, and by choosing routes well below my limit, I can usually guarantee that I will be able to place as much gear as I want in a relaxed and stress-free body position for the more difficult (crux) sections of the climb.  This is where my acceptable risk level ends – anything outside of those parameters is not acceptable.  I have a working knowledge in my head of what I am and am not willing to do – so whenever I’m at a crag looking at a guidebook I know right away what climbs to avoid, so I don’t put myself in a situation that I will likely deem unsafe.

I think this can be applied to the morals and values that we have in our everyday lives.  There are certain beliefs and standards that I hold to strongly, so when a tempting situation comes around, I don’t have to question what my decision will be, b/c I’ve already decided beforehand what is acceptable and what is not.  I am less likely to be swayed by temporary thoughts and feelings, b/c I have solid, sensible, rational logic to remind me of what I believe.

However, if I didn’t have this awareness of acceptable risk, it could easily get me in trouble, both on the rock and off.  Suppose I took off on a multipitch trad route (any climbing that is more than one “pitch” means that you are more than one rope length off the ground – ie, both parties would arrive at the top of the first pitch, and then build a belay, and then the leader would take off on the second pitch, etc.).  So suppose I took off on this route, and I get to the 4^th pitch and realize that it is hard and scary and I don’t want to finish it.  It’s not worth the risk.  The only way to safely get down is to keep going all the way to the top, or to leave possibly hundreds of dollars worth of gear to safely rappel all the way down.  This uncomfortable situation could have easily been avoided had I looked in the guidebook and made a conscious decision based on my realistic assessment of my ability and what level of risk I was comfortable with.  As far as off the rock – take your pick of any moral dilemma you might be faced with at work, at school, with friends, family, etc.  Having a working knowledge of your values and why you believe what you believe can save you from a multitude of mistakes and heartache.

John Bachar free soloing On the Lamb , 5.9, Tuolumne Meadows, California

John Bachar pushed himself to far greater physical and mental limits than I have ever thought about doing, so I am sure that he has been confronted with this risk assessment mentality many times throughout his life.  Every time he laced up his shoes and put on his chalkbag, but did not tie into a rope, he knew what the consequences of a fall would be.  Of course I can’t know for sure, but I can only assume that for him, leaving the rope in the car meant he was willing to take those risks.  How someone with so many people that loved him and depended on him, (including a young son), could find those consequences acceptable is beyond me – it seems really selfish if you ask me.  But he didn’t ask me, and its not my place to judge.  But what I can do is search deep inside and reevaluate my own actions and choices, and make sure that I am okay with all possible outcomes of those choices, both on and off the rock, and then committ to those choices wholeheartedly.  At the end of the day, I’m okay with the fall I took in Utah, even though I hurt my knee – the experiences I had on that trip were well worth the risk of the few weeks of physical setback I’m in the midst of right now.  My hope is that John Bachar is at peace with the choices he made, and my prayers go out to his friends and family.